July 13th, 2010 → 6:28 am @ admin // 23 Comments
My roommate, lets call him John, has recently started burning himself with cigarettes. I asked him about the marks recently and he said they were scars he scratched open. I did not believe this since he had multiple burns on both arms, but I left it alone.
Tonight after I caught a shower I came into our living room and he was sitting on the couch holding a pillow and crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he is paranoid of random things such as a cat that was staring at him as he smoked a cigarette (even though we have our own cats that do not make him nervous) and an open car door in the complex parking lot. Another thing that bothered him is that I have gone on a few dates with a guy. John is in love with me but I don’t return his feelings, and haven’t for three years. There are no mixed signals here.
I’m at a loss. “John” is my best friend I hate to see him so depressed and physically harming himself. I’d suggest counseling but we’re poor punks with no health insurance. He doesn’t use drugs or drink often, his family is emotionally unavailable, and he refuses to try to make new friends.
Any advice would be excellent.
Tags: Harms, Himself., Physically, Roommate
sminthia
1 month ago
This stuff is beyond you helping him, he needs professional help. If you guys can’t afford it I’d just get outta there. You don’t know what he’s going to do next…
ghost
1 month ago
Borderline personality disorder
Matt
1 month ago
Get away before you end up on the nightly news as a murder suicide.
meganmic
1 month ago
The best thing to do in this situation is to try to relate to him and look at things on his side (as hard as it may be), but that really helps people when they think that you understand what they’re going through. I would definitely do something about it though like tell him to get counseling or something, because you don’t want to lose a friend, god forbid, if you know what i mean. These are some signs…TAKE ACTION!
forevers
1 month ago
You should sit him down
and tell him exact what you wrote here.
Tell him that you care about him and that he is your best friend
and that its not only hurting you to see him like this, but its unhealthy for him too.
Personally, Even though he probablly will resist, you should get him to exercise. It helps.
gopher22
1 month ago
A good counselor won’t turn away someone who needs help just because they can’t afford it right then. Anybody who harms themselves needs professional help. Please do whatever you can to encourage him to go to therapy.
Officer Friendly
1 month ago
I’m sorry to say this but these are strong signs of paranoid schizophrenia. John should be evaluated by a professional psychologist and very soon before he gets worse or harms himself again. If left untreated, this condition is progressive.
Bob
1 month ago
“John” has symptoms of a severe psychological issue. He needs to see a mental health professional right away.
Try your local university, most will have free counseling services open to the public, mine does.
Post what city you live in and I will re-post with university information.
EDIT: try the links below, Oklahoma State seems to charge, might give them a call. They seem to be closer to Tulsa than OU.
Also, the link to the Mental Health Association in Tulsa.
somebody
1 month ago
sit him down and dont let him walk away until you talk. tell him how important he is in your life and how it would crush you to see him hurt. also make him tell you whats wrong so you can help
Stephanie D
1 month ago
i think you should more time with him so that you can find out what is really borthering him then you can find out ways to help him.
x
grr its liss=D
1 month ago
try to talk to him and give him a pen and tell him to mark with a pen wherever he wants to hurt himself. you get no harm outta it and it helps to take the pain awaw and get him the # to the suicide hotline… a couple of my friends have been cutters and ive done just what i am telling you and it totally helped
M-AZ
1 month ago
believe it or not i’ve been through almost the EXACT same situation as you. If you don’t have feelings for him let him know that you are there as his friend. the best thing that you can do right now is to talk to him and try to understand what he is going through.
if you have any questions on what to do you can let me know
matthew.azuma@hotmail.com
hope i can help
Matt
mini murderer
1 month ago
just make sure
tat he knows tat ur der for him
and tat he can tell u anything tats bothering him
Dave W
1 month ago
If u are in the US…call Call 1-800-448-3000 to speak with a counselor.
They can refer you to resources in your area.
uaefaida
1 month ago
Dont take him to doctor. Nothing is gonna help him unless you dont return him love as he need you.
A person loves you from 3-years and you still dont love with him.
This is unfair.
solana
1 month ago
One of my ex boyfriends would do that. It’s likely related to cutting. John maybe wants to feel something though he’s emotionally numb or else he feels the need to punish himself for things he regrets rather then just live with it. Your local crisis line may have some ideas. He sounds a little obsessive. Hope he gets the help he needs. Maybe the local mental health center may consult with you.
Amy A
1 month ago
There are resources for people who can’t afford counselling.
Check the front of your phonebook for a crisis helpline. I am sure your area has one – almost every area does Are you in the United States? If you are, an example is 1-800-SUICIDE. You can call this one if you can’t find another one (they won’t turn you down), but try to find a more general one first because he isn’t suicidal.
You can call them and ask for advice yourself – they are very good at dealing with these situations and will know what resources are available in your area.
Even better, encourage “John” to give them a call. Anyone who is self-harming is in need of medical help, especially when they report issues of paranoia. Encourage him to call the line whenever he feels like self harming, instead of burning himself.
Although family and friends are very helpful, medical help is still needed.
omg
1 month ago
take john to a professional give him all the support you can i think he has ocd
Hopeless
1 month ago
Suggest that he go see a professional adult, and tell him that you’ll go with him. Try not to talk to him too much about the guys you’re dating, because of the fact that he has feelings for you. At the same time if he asks you where you’re going and you’re going on a date, just tell him simply and honestly. That way he knows that you’re unavailable without you “rubbing it in his face” (he probably gets really emotional when you tell him that, right?) The most important thing is that you make sure that he talks to an adult (doesn’t have to be a school counselor just an adult) who is trained in helping people who hurt themselves.
**Try these numbers, hun: http://www.snowhawk.com/info.html#is or http://www.essortment.com/articles/hotli… . There are a lot on these sites**
Levana Naberrie
1 month ago
Talk to him. Show him that you care about what he feels, that he matters to you. It’ll be helpful if you’d be honest about your feelings for him too even if it might hurt him. Set boundaries, yet sincerely tell him that he’s important to you. Sometimes we only need someone to talk to, someone who could understand, and someone who’s willing to spend time with us.
If this won’t work, consult an expert. Protect yourself too. Tell another person what’s been happening, in case something goes wrong and he hurts you.
Terri V
1 month ago
tell on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nicole
1 month ago
i think hes emo so thats natural to happen except him crying….
JOHN
1 month ago
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